Sails up, we're leaving today... actually, sod the sails, fire up the engines, about 100,000 horsepower of them. This is the longest Hammer Of Retribution Ogg-Cast ever, and the main reason for that - which I've alluded to on the last couple of shows - is that the World Tour kicks off this month, which will be a block of anything from 30 to 50-something minutes of metal from around the world. Close to home we stay for this first edition, highlighting the tiny countries of Europe - by land area, not population, after all, you've already heard plenty of bands from Iceland.

Other than that, the tribute to David Gold that might have been on the Brucie Bonus is here, as it is far more fitting to have it on the first show of a year he will never get to see. Covered is still going strong, and there will be not one but three Hidden Gems - as part of a look back to other years ending in a two, as is traditional for a January show. The requests have been coming in as well - and I've had enough of them from one listener to keep me going until April, so in this show you'll be getting the first of four bouts of Paul Houlton's Recommendations Corner.

2012 is off to a sailing start! I mean... a flying start. You knew that...

Once upon a time, an old man called Bruce went to a palace, where an equally old woman put a sword on his shoulder. When offered "cake or death?", Bruce chose cake. But he had to bring something in return, and that he did. It was a three-hour podcast from Nottingham loaded with loud heavy metal. The old woman with a sword heard that it was good. She gave Bruce his cake, allowed him to call himself "Sir Bruce" from that day on, and thrust her sword into the air, charging around, singing "Into battle one rides, with gods by one's side, one is strong and not afraid to die!" Her son groaned, knowing it would be another 60 years before he could possibly get himself on the throne, and muttered something about organic farming.

This is the second Brucie Bonus edition, in which the last 12 months of this show are reviewed in a slightly different way to what you all might be expecting; I've compiled the top ten highlights of everything I heard for the first time this year. So, not necessarily completely new-for-2011 tracks or albums, but if I was made aware of it this year and it made me sit up and take notice, expect to hear it in this show. Also, aren't there two brothers who like to spin yarns of Anglo-Saxon triumphs in days of yore who have made a new album recently?

Finally, with the recent and tragic death of David Gold barely two days after I'd made this show before disappearing from internet-land for a while, I will give him the posthumous honour of opening the first Ogg-Cast of 2012. He will not be forgotten.

So, December, then. You know what it's going to be like; the pressure's on. Make that day that is ten days from now something special, spend money you don't have on presents that the recipients don't particularly want, and if you've got a Significant Other then the onus to Get It Right Or Else is even higher. You'll drink too much, you'll eat too much, you'll be violently sick, and all this because you're told You Have To. Humbug, I say, and so some of the content of this show reflects that, particularly an extremely rude track I've stuck in right at the front. Instead, forget the retail hell of the end of the month and dive straight into some quality metal. Some of it has been asked for by my most loyal listeners, so you can all see what they like. Some of it has been derived from a few nights out I've had this month and earlier. And then there are other bits whose origins are absolutely indescribable. By the way, I tried to keep this one rant-free... but, as ever, there's always going to be something to mouth off about.

This show sees the exit of Shut It!, a regular feature I've been doing since I morphed this show into *not* just a straight cover version of the Wyrd Ways Rock Show within ten days of its inception - and it goes out with a bang. In January, there will be a new regular feature, which I'm going to keep the announcement of in the show itself.

As ever, input is welcome, especially for this new feature which you'll soon hear of; go to http://www.thorcast.co.uk and find the contacts page, but you should all know the address by now, or use the Faceache page, either will do. I noticed at the end of November I forgot to update the website, but that'll be put right now, but then, nobody else noticed anyway...

...and no, I'm not referring to the intro of Dark Tranquillity's Terminus.

In this month's show, the Hammer swats its way into the murky world of electronic music via the medium of computer chiptunes, video game music and the like, in a four-track themed Spotlight. But don't all run away, because at no time has that vital link to metal been forgotten, and you'll know that when you hear it. Elsewhere, you'll hear a couple of sections that were left off last month's show because there was just that much of it in the pipeline, a second contribution to the show from a long-time fan, a taster of Nottingham's relaunched Violated club night, and - unfortunate though it is - a tribute to another departed friend.

Most notably, there's a competition relating to the Warhorns Over Aengland tour that recently passed through Bradford and London. I've got some contraband from those Irish herberts, Celtachor, and the Arminius-worshipping Teutons, Nothgard. Listen to the show for details - all I'll tell you here is that you've got until the end of November to enter.

So, ever wondered what a 45 rpm record played at 33 rpm sounds like? Wonder no longer.

Already in the "cover art" you'll have noticed the screenshot from Hexen and the use of CodexSSK for the text. That's right, in a definite "back to the origins" type show, the Hammer Of Retribution is going old-school, with about half the content of the show paying tribute to those pioneering days of the 1970s, in the way they sound and - some of them - in the way they look. Other parts of the show have been more influenced by some of the veritable banquet of gigs I've been to recently, and a fair bit of it would fit into both categories. Also, as an extra bonus, I'll be treating you all to two Hidden Gems instead of just one, and I'll be introducing you all to a band from Finland that - except for one brief burst on a previous show - you'll never have heard of, in a Wyrd Ways Rock Show-style Spotlight.

I also have to remind you that Faceache are getting shot of their Discussion Boards, so if you want the track listing for each show, you'll have to go to thorcast.co.uk and look on the Archive page, where the track listings will now be housed.

Welcome to the Star of India, sir, may I take your order, please?

So, you would like half an hour of sludge and doom, a preview of an upcoming gig, a repeat performance of couple of the last show's best bits, three bands from Boston who made a split CD together, some strange hard rock from the Baltic, a tribute to Skyclad, a hidden gem from a very unlikely source, a side order of some of those folky bands that are on the regular menu, pilau rice, that strange green day-glo sauce that nobody knows the origins of and 32 poppadoms?

Yes, sir, you may collect your order immediately!

Thank you, come again!

HELGA! SPIDERSCHWEIN! SLÄYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!

That's right, I've been to Wacken for the tenth time, and the sheer concentrated heavy metalness is as undiluted as ever. Under the sign of the flaming goat skull we have witnessed bands of 27 different countries fighting for the right to reprise their 25-minute set next year as the Metal Battle winners, we have seen Germans getting apocalyptically drunk and singing along to the local equivalent of Mike Flowers Pops, there were people in a medieval village setting their beards on fire with a soundtrack to match, there were sausages to be grilled, CD stalls to be searched, gazebos to be built, sat under and then wrecked... and there was the small matter of saying goodbye and thanks for all the 40 years' worth of memories to one of the most legendary bands of all time.

All this - well, the musical bits at least - are contained in one neat 161-minute package for your delectation and delight. The 24 bands I managed to see over the course of the four days, and it could have been a lot more were it not for some irritating clashes, are all represented on this show... and there's an extra bonus band that wrote a charming tune about something I saw on the way there.

What are you waiting for? Play this loud on the stereo, outside in the sun, sprinkle yourself with the occasional shower, eat grilled sausage and drink a lot of German beer, and you'll be close to the experience. Or, better still, go and do it yourself: from 1st-4th August 2012, the north of Germany will echo to the sound of heavy metal for the 23rd time, and tickets are on sale already!

Arrrrrr! Avast, ye landlubbers, what's ye cap'n pulled out o' Davy Jones' locker for all your entertainment? I do believe it be a Cutlass o' Retribution Grog-Cast! Arrrrrr!

As you might tell from one short paragraph where I'm pretending it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day (not that anyone does outside the internet), after last month's "Epic Wanderlust... Returns" set it all up, this time I've themed the show around my actual journey round England's most southwesterly county, where all the pirates came from all those years ago. Visiting Tintagel, Boscastle, Looe, the Eden Project, Falmouth, Penzance and the Isles of Scilly, I've included one track or more for each that's... rather loosely based upon what I saw or did there, but as ever, I've explained why you're hearing what you're hearing.

Particularly special this time round, though, is a HAMMER OF RETRIBUTION EXCLUSIVE. That's right! Look back through my review of the adventure (or, at least, the first part) and you'll see that I found myself in Falmouth right in the middle of the annual Sea Shanty festival. So I thought I'd include a taste of that experience - but not one of the "official" performances outside on Custom House Quay, no, that's far too common. Instead, when I returned to the Seven Stars for a second pint of Grandma's Weapons Grade Ginger Beer, I came across the Pirates of St. Piran, who were in the back room, singing boisterously. That's them in the promo picture, by the way. I couldn't not record one of their songs for the show, and I promised to spread their word far and wide... maybe they'll do the same for me now. I guarantee you will not be hearing this performance anywhere else!

Now hoist the sails and get ready to plunder!

Just over three years ago, I packed a few bits and pieces and went off wandering round Europe for a couple of weeks - visitng all the tiny countries dotted around the perimeter of France, before heading for the Channel Islands on the way back. You can see the evidence if you want. Now, that same epic wanderlust has struck agaion, but not being on quite the same budget as I was in 2008, I will be satisfying it in Cornwall just after this show is released.

Or, at least, that was the intention. This past weekend I heard of the sudden and shocking death of Richard Garner, a very good friend of mine who I'd shared many fine finghts out with, whether it was putting the world to rights in the pub, asking for obscure black metal bands to be played at a club night or going to see those same bands live. Rich was also an avid listener to this show and was vehemently defending one of his requests only a day before his unfortunate demise. As his funeral takes obvious precedence over a foray to Cornwall, my plans are up in the air... but I will get there, some day soon, maybe not quite as soon as I'd planned, and Rich's memory will be honoured from all the sights of Cornwall. Hails.

Does anyone remember me promising to make a half-hour feature on the seamless welding together of metal and classical music? It's finally happened, and it's brilliant. Of course, Rich made a contribution to it, which I had to include at the last minute.

It's been a hard show to make, and is, of course, dedicated to Rich's memory. Life is too short to do what you think you ought to do; live your own life the way you want to, because you never know when it'll be over.

This is the show I've had planned for ages; it being in May, it's two years since I first made an Ogg-Cast. Hence, I planned the whole lot round highlighting those shows that had been (and, in some cases, gone) before - The Wyrd Ways Rock Show, obviously, but also Metal Shrine and Bruce Dickinson's Radio 1 Rock Show - as well as those that followed in my wake, namely the Spooky Hobo Metal Corner, the Ominous Blood-Cast and the Shield Of Oak Show. There's also a bit of prompting for a future show from Ann Sulaiman... who made a first edition of the Me(n)tal Meltdown Podcast between me recording this show and it actually being uploaded.

However, with the death of Claude Choules on 5th May, the "Tribute" in the title took on a whole new meaning. No combat veterans of World War I are left alive, and so can no longer tell their tales. I've included some samples of their stories from the excellent BBC mini-series, The Last Tommy, for some very special guest appearances on the show that are now from beyond the grave. I thought it only fitting to pay special respects to the hardship and sacrifice they all went through.

And the final tribute goes to someone else who is particularly special.

Now all you have to do is listen to the show for yourselves. If you haven't done so before, this one is slightly less reflective of the series as a whole, being effectively bolted together from pieces of other people's shows, or at least with tracks designed to reflect the content of those shows rather than a typical one of mine that I've haphazardly thrown together. As ever, if there's anything you want to hear on a future show, go to thorcast.co.uk and find the contact page, where you'll get all the info you need. June's show is shaping up nicely already, cheers to a few of my existing listeners for that...

...but don't worry, I haven't abandoned my legendary distaste for Marx, Engels, Lenin and Stalin - I titled this show this way because it is YOU, the people, and by that I mean my listeners, who have shaped it! I asked for requests in March's show, I got requests, and more than half the show has been recommended by someone other than me. This show has the longest musical content yet of the regular monthly shows - it also has rather a lot of me talking, though some of that is me reading the relevant entries in the Mailbag, and there's even an audible contribution from one of my regular listeners to top things off. I've still managed time to fit in Covered, Shut It! and Hidden Gems, though - I wouldn't let those go.

Here's a joke for you before we go. What's the difference between a Russian folk tale and a Soviet folk tale?

A Russian folk tale starts: "Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a young girl called Tatyana who skipped happily through the forest without a care in the world..."
A Soviet folk tale starts: "Pravda today reported of the escape from the GULAG of enemy of the people Tatyana Cherenkova, 14, of Irkutsk..."

So, another month, another show, exactly four weeks after the last one - or at least it would be if it hadn't been for the bonus show! Back on schedule, in "March Ör Die" we have a Wurd Ways Rock Show-style Spotlight on a Scottish band who are a long way from from Scotland, the usual inclusion of Covered, Shut It! and Hidden Gems, a demonstration of how acoustic and electric guitars working together can be a thoroughly brilliant combination, and a few "gaps" (i.e. bands I'd never played on the show before) that needed filling, have been filled.

Remember: thorcast.co.uk is now your one-stop shop for everything related to the show. Go there, yon heathens, and bombard me with requests for April's show, because I've got nothing planned for it yet!

Send your requests to baron (A) thorcast.co.uk - you know how to turn that into an email address, and it should keep the spam spiders out.

Crikey! What's happening? Didn't I say the next show would be released on 15th March? Fact is, there's some top-notch news about the show that deserves some extra publicity - chiefly among which is the blindingly brilliant news that the Hammer of Retribution Ogg-Cast now has its own domain name!

http://www.thorcast.co.uk

Never mind the UK2 banner, all the links are there - or, at least, they'll be there when I've finally knocked it into something worthy of the show, so you can all find your way back here to Podomatic, or to the Faceache page, or the archive... which I think I've now got working!

By the way, I think some random band from Finland just made a new album...

It's the 15th of February, so that means: happy Devin's Day, everyone! If you want to know what Devin's Day is all about, then listen to the show where I explain it all - or at least, as much as any of you need to know. Fairly obviously, the man himself will be featuring heavily along the course of the two hours of musical content - in a Wyrd Ways Rock Show-style Spotlight. Interspersed with this there will be an ideal soundtrack for the upcoming Jorvik Viking Festival, a musical review of January's tribute gig for Valhalla-bound Jay Jay Winter, another gaming-related Shut it!, a Hidden Gem unearthed from one of Britain's all-time greatest bands, a suitably appropriate inclusion in Covered, and for the first time ever... a guest slot! This has been provided by Chris Mole and Martin Collins, of Northern Oak, and I hope it will not be the last of such contributions. Now... listen!

A new year, and a new permanent schedule for the Hammer Of Retribution Ogg-Cast! The fifteenth of every month will see a new episode released, in which you'll get about two hours of musical content plus however much of me chuntering round it you can take. Because, as you may know, I like to educate as well as entertain. This first monthly show sees the return of "Shut It!" from the early try-out shows as well as "Covered" cynically swiped from the Wyrd Ways Rock Show, and a new feature called "Hidden Gems" highlighting those marvellous tracks from well-known bands that you'd probably forgotten about. With this being a new year, there's something of a look back to some highlights from years ending in "1", a second "doom and gloom" block to match the one from the previous show, and a fitting tribute to a Norwegian metal legend who was brutally torn away from us seven years ago to the day of release of this show. Hails and skål!