You know... when you've been trolled.

Whether it's trolls on the internet who are annoying to encounter and even more annoyingly hard to shake off, or trolls who hide under bridges and are dangerous to christians, there's no getting away from them, so it seems. So, not entirely unprovoked, I've made a show about trolls of all varieties. Bits of the excellent Norwegian film, Troll Hunter, have found their way into the show, as have four separate Hidden Gems by everyone's (with a brain) favourite humppa-metal band, Finntroll. Elsewhere, the organisers of the World Tour got lazy and stayed in South America, even recycling one of the bands from last month's visit (but which one? Find out...), the final three bands that Paul Houlton recommended back in January make their long-awaited appearance, and the very best of English (and Irish) metal that has entertained me recently and will entertain me in the near future is prominently featured.

But best of all, there's a competition. Due to the generosity of the esteemed Ben Corkhill, I've landed myself with a duplicate copy of Oakenshield's excellent Legacy album. Do you want to win it? Listen to the show. The question you'll have to answer is in there, and though the answer is not totally obvious, I still reckon I've practically handed it to you on a silver plate with a side order of chips and gravy. ENTER MY COMPETITION. Only three people did last time, and I want more!

Righteous we get! In April month of 2003, is printed in Terrorizer newspaper of Kingdom United of Britain, excellence news of Metallenglisch language accepted as minority language speaked in many places with much metal bands. Now, more than nine years, Hammer Of The Retribution Egg-Cast celebrate our victory with first internet programming music show speaked in Metallenglisch language! Maybe with soundings heared when show turn back to proper, if not true metal, English for some times.

In celebration of poets of Metallenglisch winning Pulitzer Prize for texts in this flowing language, is featured on Egg-Cast much of these bands, also one which is trying to write texts speaked in Swedish, but fail. Metallsvenska, this is? Also is time for untrue people of crosses of wood, to dance round crosses and hit selfs with whips, for the death time of Mr Jesus; with this we are not the liking, and is on this programming something more good. In final, come spilling over of bands from Black March? show, plus returning back of Paul Houlton Recommendation Cornering, and Hammer Of The Retribution Touring World visit continent where Metallenglisch is very often speaked, South of America!

If you are a false, do not entry, the nuclear drums will crush your brain!
If you are not a false, then enjoy of this programming, banging your head!

You may all have heard of the Black March movement, which aims to hit the money-monsters at the top of media industry in their fat wallets as punishment for even daring to propose SOPA, PIPA and everything else that would turn the internet, worldwide, into what it is in China, Saudi Arabia and other such bastions of fairness and freedom. However, there have been certain words of caution, regarding who it will hit - the small, independent media producers that we'd all like to support ahead of the huge giants who are only interested in profit. Get the support in from the ground up.

And so, I made this show according to those words of caution, hence the question mark in the title. What I did was go through my contacts list on Faceache, noting down how many of them were in bands. I picked one or more representative members of each band, asked them if they wanted to hear their music on this show, and I had so many responses that their contributions will be spilling over onto the next show. As for what I've done from elsewhere round the world, everything on this show - and I do mean everything - is either freely streamable on Faceache, Myspace, Reverbnation or similar without having to jump through any extra hoops like a performing seal, or it's freely downloadable - and I've announced all the links on the show to prove I'm not lying.

Has that worked? Have I done a good job? You bet. And the bands you're going to hear have all done an excellent job as well. If it wasn't for them, this show wouldn't exist - none of them would. I also do not want to imagine a future where that is the case.

This is the longest, and by far the meatiest Ogg-Cast ever. Regular listener Keri O'Shea is partially responsible for this, having sent me a copy of The Decadent Cookbook with a whole chapter on the world's host horrifying sausages in it, but there were also a couple of bands I'd been meaning to play for a while and they, somehow, found themselves tied up with a sausage theme. This runs right through the show, and has even taken over the usual Covered slot - in which a certain notorious sausage-o-phobe is given a right and royal skewering.

Otherwise, there'll be a nod to the fact that this is Devin's Day (see last year's show, still available in the Archives at http://www.thorcast.co.uk, for the explanation), as well as a Hidden Gem that was particularly well hidden, three more suggestions from Paul Houlton's Recommendations Corner, and, of course, the second instalment of the Hammer Of Retribution World Tour, which goes to North America and is particularly worth your attention.

Four hours, as near as makes no difference, of the finest metal on the planet. And a big plate of sausages. What more could you want?

Sails up, we're leaving today... actually, sod the sails, fire up the engines, about 100,000 horsepower of them. This is the longest Hammer Of Retribution Ogg-Cast ever, and the main reason for that - which I've alluded to on the last couple of shows - is that the World Tour kicks off this month, which will be a block of anything from 30 to 50-something minutes of metal from around the world. Close to home we stay for this first edition, highlighting the tiny countries of Europe - by land area, not population, after all, you've already heard plenty of bands from Iceland.

Other than that, the tribute to David Gold that might have been on the Brucie Bonus is here, as it is far more fitting to have it on the first show of a year he will never get to see. Covered is still going strong, and there will be not one but three Hidden Gems - as part of a look back to other years ending in a two, as is traditional for a January show. The requests have been coming in as well - and I've had enough of them from one listener to keep me going until April, so in this show you'll be getting the first of four bouts of Paul Houlton's Recommendations Corner.

2012 is off to a sailing start! I mean... a flying start. You knew that...

Once upon a time, an old man called Bruce went to a palace, where an equally old woman put a sword on his shoulder. When offered "cake or death?", Bruce chose cake. But he had to bring something in return, and that he did. It was a three-hour podcast from Nottingham loaded with loud heavy metal. The old woman with a sword heard that it was good. She gave Bruce his cake, allowed him to call himself "Sir Bruce" from that day on, and thrust her sword into the air, charging around, singing "Into battle one rides, with gods by one's side, one is strong and not afraid to die!" Her son groaned, knowing it would be another 60 years before he could possibly get himself on the throne, and muttered something about organic farming.

This is the second Brucie Bonus edition, in which the last 12 months of this show are reviewed in a slightly different way to what you all might be expecting; I've compiled the top ten highlights of everything I heard for the first time this year. So, not necessarily completely new-for-2011 tracks or albums, but if I was made aware of it this year and it made me sit up and take notice, expect to hear it in this show. Also, aren't there two brothers who like to spin yarns of Anglo-Saxon triumphs in days of yore who have made a new album recently?

Finally, with the recent and tragic death of David Gold barely two days after I'd made this show before disappearing from internet-land for a while, I will give him the posthumous honour of opening the first Ogg-Cast of 2012. He will not be forgotten.

So, December, then. You know what it's going to be like; the pressure's on. Make that day that is ten days from now something special, spend money you don't have on presents that the recipients don't particularly want, and if you've got a Significant Other then the onus to Get It Right Or Else is even higher. You'll drink too much, you'll eat too much, you'll be violently sick, and all this because you're told You Have To. Humbug, I say, and so some of the content of this show reflects that, particularly an extremely rude track I've stuck in right at the front. Instead, forget the retail hell of the end of the month and dive straight into some quality metal. Some of it has been asked for by my most loyal listeners, so you can all see what they like. Some of it has been derived from a few nights out I've had this month and earlier. And then there are other bits whose origins are absolutely indescribable. By the way, I tried to keep this one rant-free... but, as ever, there's always going to be something to mouth off about.

This show sees the exit of Shut It!, a regular feature I've been doing since I morphed this show into *not* just a straight cover version of the Wyrd Ways Rock Show within ten days of its inception - and it goes out with a bang. In January, there will be a new regular feature, which I'm going to keep the announcement of in the show itself.

As ever, input is welcome, especially for this new feature which you'll soon hear of; go to http://www.thorcast.co.uk and find the contacts page, but you should all know the address by now, or use the Faceache page, either will do. I noticed at the end of November I forgot to update the website, but that'll be put right now, but then, nobody else noticed anyway...

...and no, I'm not referring to the intro of Dark Tranquillity's Terminus.

In this month's show, the Hammer swats its way into the murky world of electronic music via the medium of computer chiptunes, video game music and the like, in a four-track themed Spotlight. But don't all run away, because at no time has that vital link to metal been forgotten, and you'll know that when you hear it. Elsewhere, you'll hear a couple of sections that were left off last month's show because there was just that much of it in the pipeline, a second contribution to the show from a long-time fan, a taster of Nottingham's relaunched Violated club night, and - unfortunate though it is - a tribute to another departed friend.

Most notably, there's a competition relating to the Warhorns Over Aengland tour that recently passed through Bradford and London. I've got some contraband from those Irish herberts, Celtachor, and the Arminius-worshipping Teutons, Nothgard. Listen to the show for details - all I'll tell you here is that you've got until the end of November to enter.

So, ever wondered what a 45 rpm record played at 33 rpm sounds like? Wonder no longer.

Already in the "cover art" you'll have noticed the screenshot from Hexen and the use of CodexSSK for the text. That's right, in a definite "back to the origins" type show, the Hammer Of Retribution is going old-school, with about half the content of the show paying tribute to those pioneering days of the 1970s, in the way they sound and - some of them - in the way they look. Other parts of the show have been more influenced by some of the veritable banquet of gigs I've been to recently, and a fair bit of it would fit into both categories. Also, as an extra bonus, I'll be treating you all to two Hidden Gems instead of just one, and I'll be introducing you all to a band from Finland that - except for one brief burst on a previous show - you'll never have heard of, in a Wyrd Ways Rock Show-style Spotlight.

I also have to remind you that Faceache are getting shot of their Discussion Boards, so if you want the track listing for each show, you'll have to go to thorcast.co.uk and look on the Archive page, where the track listings will now be housed.

Welcome to the Star of India, sir, may I take your order, please?

So, you would like half an hour of sludge and doom, a preview of an upcoming gig, a repeat performance of couple of the last show's best bits, three bands from Boston who made a split CD together, some strange hard rock from the Baltic, a tribute to Skyclad, a hidden gem from a very unlikely source, a side order of some of those folky bands that are on the regular menu, pilau rice, that strange green day-glo sauce that nobody knows the origins of and 32 poppadoms?

Yes, sir, you may collect your order immediately!

Thank you, come again!

HELGA! SPIDERSCHWEIN! SLÄYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!

That's right, I've been to Wacken for the tenth time, and the sheer concentrated heavy metalness is as undiluted as ever. Under the sign of the flaming goat skull we have witnessed bands of 27 different countries fighting for the right to reprise their 25-minute set next year as the Metal Battle winners, we have seen Germans getting apocalyptically drunk and singing along to the local equivalent of Mike Flowers Pops, there were people in a medieval village setting their beards on fire with a soundtrack to match, there were sausages to be grilled, CD stalls to be searched, gazebos to be built, sat under and then wrecked... and there was the small matter of saying goodbye and thanks for all the 40 years' worth of memories to one of the most legendary bands of all time.

All this - well, the musical bits at least - are contained in one neat 161-minute package for your delectation and delight. The 24 bands I managed to see over the course of the four days, and it could have been a lot more were it not for some irritating clashes, are all represented on this show... and there's an extra bonus band that wrote a charming tune about something I saw on the way there.

What are you waiting for? Play this loud on the stereo, outside in the sun, sprinkle yourself with the occasional shower, eat grilled sausage and drink a lot of German beer, and you'll be close to the experience. Or, better still, go and do it yourself: from 1st-4th August 2012, the north of Germany will echo to the sound of heavy metal for the 23rd time, and tickets are on sale already!

Arrrrrr! Avast, ye landlubbers, what's ye cap'n pulled out o' Davy Jones' locker for all your entertainment? I do believe it be a Cutlass o' Retribution Grog-Cast! Arrrrrr!

As you might tell from one short paragraph where I'm pretending it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day (not that anyone does outside the internet), after last month's "Epic Wanderlust... Returns" set it all up, this time I've themed the show around my actual journey round England's most southwesterly county, where all the pirates came from all those years ago. Visiting Tintagel, Boscastle, Looe, the Eden Project, Falmouth, Penzance and the Isles of Scilly, I've included one track or more for each that's... rather loosely based upon what I saw or did there, but as ever, I've explained why you're hearing what you're hearing.

Particularly special this time round, though, is a HAMMER OF RETRIBUTION EXCLUSIVE. That's right! Look back through my review of the adventure (or, at least, the first part) and you'll see that I found myself in Falmouth right in the middle of the annual Sea Shanty festival. So I thought I'd include a taste of that experience - but not one of the "official" performances outside on Custom House Quay, no, that's far too common. Instead, when I returned to the Seven Stars for a second pint of Grandma's Weapons Grade Ginger Beer, I came across the Pirates of St. Piran, who were in the back room, singing boisterously. That's them in the promo picture, by the way. I couldn't not record one of their songs for the show, and I promised to spread their word far and wide... maybe they'll do the same for me now. I guarantee you will not be hearing this performance anywhere else!

Now hoist the sails and get ready to plunder!

Just over three years ago, I packed a few bits and pieces and went off wandering round Europe for a couple of weeks - visitng all the tiny countries dotted around the perimeter of France, before heading for the Channel Islands on the way back. You can see the evidence if you want. Now, that same epic wanderlust has struck agaion, but not being on quite the same budget as I was in 2008, I will be satisfying it in Cornwall just after this show is released.

Or, at least, that was the intention. This past weekend I heard of the sudden and shocking death of Richard Garner, a very good friend of mine who I'd shared many fine finghts out with, whether it was putting the world to rights in the pub, asking for obscure black metal bands to be played at a club night or going to see those same bands live. Rich was also an avid listener to this show and was vehemently defending one of his requests only a day before his unfortunate demise. As his funeral takes obvious precedence over a foray to Cornwall, my plans are up in the air... but I will get there, some day soon, maybe not quite as soon as I'd planned, and Rich's memory will be honoured from all the sights of Cornwall. Hails.

Does anyone remember me promising to make a half-hour feature on the seamless welding together of metal and classical music? It's finally happened, and it's brilliant. Of course, Rich made a contribution to it, which I had to include at the last minute.

It's been a hard show to make, and is, of course, dedicated to Rich's memory. Life is too short to do what you think you ought to do; live your own life the way you want to, because you never know when it'll be over.

This is the show I've had planned for ages; it being in May, it's two years since I first made an Ogg-Cast. Hence, I planned the whole lot round highlighting those shows that had been (and, in some cases, gone) before - The Wyrd Ways Rock Show, obviously, but also Metal Shrine and Bruce Dickinson's Radio 1 Rock Show - as well as those that followed in my wake, namely the Spooky Hobo Metal Corner, the Ominous Blood-Cast and the Shield Of Oak Show. There's also a bit of prompting for a future show from Ann Sulaiman... who made a first edition of the Me(n)tal Meltdown Podcast between me recording this show and it actually being uploaded.

However, with the death of Claude Choules on 5th May, the "Tribute" in the title took on a whole new meaning. No combat veterans of World War I are left alive, and so can no longer tell their tales. I've included some samples of their stories from the excellent BBC mini-series, The Last Tommy, for some very special guest appearances on the show that are now from beyond the grave. I thought it only fitting to pay special respects to the hardship and sacrifice they all went through.

And the final tribute goes to someone else who is particularly special.

Now all you have to do is listen to the show for yourselves. If you haven't done so before, this one is slightly less reflective of the series as a whole, being effectively bolted together from pieces of other people's shows, or at least with tracks designed to reflect the content of those shows rather than a typical one of mine that I've haphazardly thrown together. As ever, if there's anything you want to hear on a future show, go to thorcast.co.uk and find the contact page, where you'll get all the info you need. June's show is shaping up nicely already, cheers to a few of my existing listeners for that...

...but don't worry, I haven't abandoned my legendary distaste for Marx, Engels, Lenin and Stalin - I titled this show this way because it is YOU, the people, and by that I mean my listeners, who have shaped it! I asked for requests in March's show, I got requests, and more than half the show has been recommended by someone other than me. This show has the longest musical content yet of the regular monthly shows - it also has rather a lot of me talking, though some of that is me reading the relevant entries in the Mailbag, and there's even an audible contribution from one of my regular listeners to top things off. I've still managed time to fit in Covered, Shut It! and Hidden Gems, though - I wouldn't let those go.

Here's a joke for you before we go. What's the difference between a Russian folk tale and a Soviet folk tale?

A Russian folk tale starts: "Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a young girl called Tatyana who skipped happily through the forest without a care in the world..."
A Soviet folk tale starts: "Pravda today reported of the escape from the GULAG of enemy of the people Tatyana Cherenkova, 14, of Irkutsk..."